


My Choice

by Avocadosatlaw



Category: Captain America, Marvel
Genre: Black Panther - Freeform, Captain America - Freeform, Captain America Civil War - Freeform, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Iron Man - Freeform, M/M, Stucky - Freeform, T'challa - Freeform, steve rogers - Freeform, tony stark - Freeform, zemo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-08 09:32:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6849058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avocadosatlaw/pseuds/Avocadosatlaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short fic of what could've happened prior to the first end credit scene of Captain America: Civil War</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Choice

“Steve.”

Beep.

“Steve…”

Beep.

“Steve-.”

“I’m right here Buck.” Steve’s voice was soft and comforting unlike the harsh light of the medical room that Bucky was met with when he opened his eyes. It was all like a bad dream, he had the vague recognition that it happened but it wasn’t until he went to reach out to Steve who was on his left side, that he realized his limb was nothing but a phantom. 

“You passed out before we reached Wakanda.” Steve said, scooting closer to him. “T’challa caught Zemo, tied him up and left him by the quinjet for Tony, and he said he could help us-.”

“I remember that…” Bucky whispered, moving his hand to lightly run his fingers over his forehead.

“He flew us here and you got the medical help you needed.” He said, getting up to sit on the edge of the bed as he watched Bucky’s hand move down to touch the stump that had been mended and covered with a rubber sleeve to prevent further injury. “They said they could make you a new arm-.”

“No..”

“We can get a place-.”

“Steve-.”

“T’challa will make sure it’s well hidden-.”

“Steve.” Bucky’s voice was firm and his eyes were locked on Steve who froze. “No.” He had a lot of time to plan their life together on the run from whatever Tony and the government wanted to do to them and hearing that no, made his heart sink but before he could speak, Bucky continued. “I don’t want a new arm. I don’t want a new place, to keep running.” He swallowed, licking his lips and pursing his lips as he thought for a moment. “I don’t want to lose myself, again.”

“You didn’t lose yourself in Siberia.” 

“I almost did.”

Silence fell between the two. T’challa had given them the privacy of their own room, but, it was very plain, and all that was heard was the faint beeping of the monitors.

“No matter how hard I try to be myself... Hydra's still going to have control of me. And, until I can control myself… I think I should go back into-.”

“No. Bucky, you’re not.”

“Steve, it’s my choice.”

Steve stood up now, trying to stand his ground on this subject. “Buck, I’m not letting you go back into cryo. Not after all this. Not after I just got you back, I’m not doing it.”

Bucky shut his eyes, trying to be the rational one in this situation. “Steve it’s safer for everyone if I just go under, you know this.”

“I don’t give a shit about safety!" That was a lie, but he'd do anything to keep him there with him. "I care about you! What happens when you go into cyro? What if we never do find a way to get rid of the brainwashing? You’ll be in there forever- I, I can’t-.”

Bucky cut him off, sitting up higher in his hospital bed. “I know it’s scary… And I know that I might never come out-.”

“And that’s why you shouldn’t go in!”

They were starting to talk over each other, each one getting louder than the other to be heard because Steve just wanted Bucky to understand he didn't want him to leave and Bucky just wanted Steve to understand why he found this necessary to do.

“I don’t know when you’d get out, if you even get out!”

“I don’t know when I’d get out but you have to listen to me! Stevie please!”

Steve stopped talking, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath and calm down. He already lost Peggy, he couldn’t lose Bucky too. “What if I die, Buck…" He asked quietly. "What if, you come out, and it’s the same situation that happened with me and Peggy." He paused, eyes scanning over Buckys face. "I can’t handle that.” He clenched his jaw tightly, looking aside. Peggy’s death was still fresh, and he needed Bucky. And as much as he knew he shouldn’t be selfish in this matter, he didn’t want to let go of one of the only things he truly cared about.

Bucky had his lips pursed so tightly. Steve had a point, but he was sticking to his decision. He didn’t want to be the cause of innocent people’s deaths. “I’m sorry...” He said softly after a while. “I have to.”

Steve took in a sharp inhale, looking down to the floor as he tried to accept it.

“Are you going to be okay?” Bucky asked, slowly moving himself from beneath the covers so that his legs swung off the edge of the bed.

“I’ll be fine.” He said, looking back to him with a smile so fake that it made Bucky’s heart ache. That smile was familiar. It was the same smile he gave him when he told Steve that he had been drafted into the war.

They stared at each other in silence, each unsure what was appropriate to say because there wasn’t really anything they could add to the conversation to make the situation better. After a moment, Bucky rose to his feet and Steve expected a hug so he moved closer, but Bucky cupped his cheek and brought their lips together for a chaste kiss. It was soft and gentle, nothing too much, because both were slightly hesitant, not in fear of the kiss but in fear of what emotions it would invoke when they had to face the decision made. And when they separated, they spoke softly in unison.

“I love you.” 


End file.
